My Cancer and Me

My Cancer and Me

Because I don’t believe in being “sad” and “sick” I had planned on being quiet about my sickness.

But, the news is getting around anyways. And the inquiries are steady coming in one by one.

Then … it dawned on me.
I usually update y’all when I’m doing good, looking good and feeling good, and so I must update you on the facts now that I am looking bad with my bald head, and no hair; feeling bad with no appetite and no energy … BUT, I still got a “mind”, which causes my “behind” to find easy ways for me to enjoy my days.

My son Riley JR is devastated by my sickness and has taken an over active role in my therapy because he and me is determined to keep me alive. I feel loved.

Here’s my story!

My sickness started or I became aware of both cancer and heart attack diagnosis on Tuesday April 16, 2013

I have liver cancer and my chemo treatments which started 2 months ago seem to be working in my favor. I have had 2 heart attacks since April 16.

Both heart attacks would have been fatal had I not decided to go to the ER and check out the weird feelings that I suddenly started experiencing that day; like losing my appetite for collard greens and corn bread, and ice cream too. LOL I knew something was wrong and I was scared to go to bed without checking. I am lucky to be alive…and I’m thankful. LOL

I’m seriously proud of myself BECAUSE of the fact that I MAY be at death’s door and I’m not sad; YET!   LOL

But Riley JR is different. SO, I’m grooming and coaching him now how to think and feel and act about MY sickness and MY death.
I’ve always said that I wanted to be at my own funeral and get all that
“loving attention” that is usually bestowed upon the dead.

Well, I’m not dead yet, BUT, I have declared to my family and everybody I come in contact with, that my funeral has started and is being played out right now and will continue until I cease to exist. LOL
So until then, meet my “needs” and my “wants” and gimme my accolades and my kudos while I’m alive. LOL

Y’all remember my unpopular views about Black community issues, well, my rhetoric has gotten worst. LOL.
I am very busy promoting my rhetoric via my friendship service, while the rest of the family do whatever they do because we all got more different and separate interests and lifestyle choices these days.

My liver cancer has been described as very aggressive. That means Chemo may or may not save me.
But, so far, I still reside in HappyVille, because I am lucky to have family that cater and comfort me in the way I want them too. Thank God!

So, I ask …
Try not to grieve instead try to believe that I need to be heard and understood (no need for you to agree) LOL

Until my next email message, I wish you all good health.
Love always,
Ms Ruth

 

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